Start Over Again

Lately, I feel as if I'm starting all over again, starting from zero... especially in my character learning... Sometimes I just look behind and a kind of confused, how come I have changed so much...

Maybe... just maybe... there are parts of me too tired to have hopes or dreaming again... parts of my heart getting frozen... parts of me who don't want to think or feel, because it's too complicated...

I guess I am starting all over again... Like it or not... I have to start all over again...
I have to keep persevere and writing myself again on His diary...
...and keep learning... even though I have to do it consciously and with a bigger effort

No, I can't blame other people around me... neither my current condition....
I just have to conqueror and pass this chapter just like I have with the previous chapters...
Learn to see everything and everyone from the right point of view, from His point of view...

...and that's my ultimate subject to learn right now...