Coming Home

Tuesday, July 29, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

I'll be gone on tomorrow
I'll be home as soon as I can
if you're lonely without me
but baby Miky baby I'll be home soon

Call a friend for some laughter
Keep it mine the day after
Save your love for the weekend
cause baby Miky baby I'll give my love to you

ta dadada tadadada tadadadadadada tadada tadadada

It's so cold in this city
And I'm dreaming that you're thinking of me
one more night this feeling will be over

so baby Miky baby save your love for me

ta dadada tadadada tadadadadadada tadada tadadada
(yeah yeah oh Miky dumdumdumdum)

One more night
My flight leave at noon
No longer alone
and I see your smile
It lights up your eyes

so Miky baby I'm coming home
I'm coming home

yeah

ta dadada tadadada tadadadadadada tadada tadadada
sjubdubdudub sjudubdududub

I'm coming home
ta dadada tadadada tadadadadadada tadada tadadada
(I'm coming home.. yeah baby.. oh Miky tadadaa
I'm coming home I'm coming home I'm coming home)


*plesetan lagu "Coming Home"-nya Romeo hehehe...*

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Waiting is Trusting

Thursday, July 24, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

Lagi "in waiting"... untuk yang ke sekian kalinya... Tapi "waiting" kali ini kasusnya beda ama beberapa "waiting" sebelumnya hehehe... Kemaren baca beberapa artikel tentang "waiting", di sini, di sini, 'n di sini... Plus beberapa hari terakhir juga dapet ayat yang neguhin terus-menerus... Semuanya konfirmasi dari kondisiku saat ini 'n juga apa yang Dia mau aku lakuin.

Berasa lebih ringan siy kalo inget ternyata dulu orang-orang besar kayak Musa, Yusuf 'n Daud pernah melalui juga masa-masa penantian, bukan cuman dalam hitungan hari atau bulan, tapi bertahun-tahun...

Musa
Mungkin Musa waktu masih remaja udah merasakan “beban” untuk membebaskan orang-orang sebangsanya dari perbudakan Mesir. Terbukti dari tindakannya membunuh salah satu mandor Mesir yang menindas kaumnya. Tapi setelah itu, bertahun-tahun dia tinggal di Tanah Midian, berkeluarga dan menggembalakan ternak, sementara bangsa Israel menderita di bawah perbudakan Mesir. Tapi Tuhan tidak terburu-buru... Saat Musa sudah cukup rendah hati dan siap, Dia membawa Musa kembali ke Mesir, untuk memimpin bangsa Israel keluar dari Mesir.

Yusuf
RencanaNya atas Yusuf Dia nyatakan lewat mimpi saat Yusuf masih remaja. Tapi Yusuf melalui tahun-tahun dimana dia sama sekali tidak dapat melihat sedikitpun tanda-tanda dari penggenapan mimpinya. Dia hampir dibunuh saudara-saudaranya, dijual sebagai budak ke negeri asing, terpisah dari papa yang sangat menyayanginya, masuk penjara karena dituduh memperkosa... Semua itu sangat jauuuuh dari penggenapan mimpinya, not even close to it! Tapi Yusuf tetap percaya, keep doing the right things, dan Tuhan tetap menyertai dia. Pada waktu yang tepat, dalam sekejap mata Yusuf berada dalam mimpi yang dia impikan waktu kecil.

Daud
Nabi Samuel mengurapi Daud saat dia masih kecil... Diurapi seorang nabi tentu saja adalah sebuah kehormatan 'n bukan hal yang main-main. Tapi setelah hari itu, Daud kembali ke padang menggembalakan kambing domba, menjalani hari-harinya seperti sebelumnya. Sampai suatu ketika saat semuanya (seolah-olah) hampir menggenapi nubuatan itu (kemenangan demi kemenangan Daud), dia harus menghadapi kenyataan bahwa Saul mau membunuhnya. Daud melalui masa-masa dimana dia harus seperti pelarian yang berpindah-pindah dan bersembunyi di padang gurun menghindari kejaran Saul... those times must have been tough years... Tapi pada waktu yang tepat, nubuatan itu memang digenapi...

Satu lagi masa penantian yang juga harus dilalui Abraham... dari sejak Tuhan menjanjikan seorang anak kandung sampai lahirnya Ishak... Aku gatau persis berapa tahun tapi kayaknya lama banget sampai-sampai Sara ga sabar dan Ismael lahir. Kita cenderung mengharapkan sebuah janji atau keinginan atau titik terang itu segera tergenapi, as soon as possible. Sering juga kita mengira bahwa hal-hal yang (segera) ada di hadapan kita setelah kita menerima janjiNya, itu adalah hal-hal yang memang Tuhan inginkan untuk kita ambil atau lakukan. Well... bisa iya bisa enggak... Ga selalu "iya".

Kalo dilihat dari beberapa pola seperti yang mereka semua alami, kadang memang ada jeda waktu di antara janjiNya dan penggenapan janjiNya. Jeda itu adalah masa penantian. Dan menunggu itu bukan kata benda (pasif), tapi kata kerja (aktif), just like I've said in my former post here. Dalam jeda waktu itu, Dia sebenernya lagi mempersiapkan kita untuk penggenapan janji atau panggilanNya atas kita. Dan proses persiapan yang dilalui tiap orang itu pasti beda-beda, tergantung rencana Tuhan atas orang itu. That's why we need to connect directly to Him...

Kadang, ada saat-saat dalam masa penantian itu seolah-olah He is so silent... and we have no clue at all about what we are going through and what we will going through ahead... let just say that as a "blur" moment.. But the fact is... He is never silent, Dia ga pernah "idle" without nothing to do. He is working while (and even though) we can't see or feel or hear anything particular. The waiting moment is actually a chance to stretch our trust in Him, to grow our faith, and learn to leaning (more) on Him.

Remember this:
"...Allah melihat bahwa terang itu baik, lalu dipisahkanlah terang itu dari gelap. Dan Allah menamai terang itu siang dan gelap itu malam. Jadilah petang dan jadilah pagi, itulah hari pertama..." (Kejadian 1:1-31)
Tuhan menciptakan "waktu" di hari pertama, He's the time Creator... so He's definitely will never be too late.

So... keep on going! He's not finished with you yet!
(and with me too, definitely hehehe... Thank You God...)

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Wanna Be...

Thursday, July 24, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

Full time blogger
Freelance writer

along with unlimited internet connection hehehe...
I think that would be a great thing to do...
*ngeces* hihihi...

Abis sekarang masih jadi part time blogger... Ngeblog udah ga bisa tiap hari lagi... T_T cedih...
Yang jelas main job ga mau jauh-jauh dari nulis... that's a part of my life soalnya hehehe...

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Just Some Thoughts...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

There are times when it feels easier to be ignorant... to be a person who doesn't have expectations toward others... so you won't need to feel disappoint, you won't need to feel that you've mistreated by other people, you won't need to feel angry toward them, and you're simply just have a good moments with them...

There are times when it feels easier to detached from people... so you won't feel hurt if there are some mistakes or unpleasant things they've done, either accidentally or on purpose... You won't need to feel afraid to open up and let them "read" you...

But there are times when you know that you are really need others... despite their lack of sensitivities... there are times when you desperately need somebody or some people to share your life with... to spend times, share stories, and be as vulnerable as you can with them... without any fear, curiosity, prejudice, or doubt...

I've just had a bad moment with one of my friend, it's just an insignificant thing actually. But it brought my old similar memories...

When I was thinking of those thoughts, I just revolved around my emotions and myself... But when I remembered Him... How He managed His life and His responses toward other people... I just became speechless...

What He had gone through was absolutely harder... yet He responded with remarkable and amazing attitudes... It was never easy dealing with people... with all of our attributes (weaknesses, stubbornnes, hopelessness, deceitfulness, levity, you name it, there were a lot of them!) but He had gone through it all, flawlessly! He is soooo patient and soooo self-controlled... yet He was like an open book... without fear... and put His trust completely in His Father...

Dia pernah berurusan dengan orang-orang yang, udah mendapat kehormatan untuk jadi murid-muridNya (orang-orang yang Dia pilih sendiri), tapi di satu waktu mereka berdebat tentang siapa yang paling besar di antara mereka (Mark 9:33-37) - ibaratnya udah dikasih hati minta jantung hehehe... ga nyadar mereka itu lagi jalan ama Siapa...

Dia pernah ngadepin orang yang bersumpah ga bakal ninggalin Dia apapun yang terjadi, tapi kenyataannya orang itu ninggalin Dia, setelah sebelonnya menyangkal pernah kenal Dia...(Tapiii... karna orang ini bertobat 'n hidup dari keselamatan melalui Yesus, akhirnya dia malah dipake Tuhan luar biasa, yap, he is Peter a.k.a. Petrus).

Dia pernah ngadepin orang-orang yang memuja Dia, yang Dia sembuhin, bahkan mungkin yang ikut ngeliat keajaiban-keajaiban yang pernah Dia lakuin, tapi dimana mereka waktu Dia disalib? Mungkin malah ada beberapa orang di antara mereka yang ikut menuntut Dia untuk disalibkan di pengadilan Pilatus... How can He handled them all peacefully?

I think I need to learn more... and definitely need more help and guidance from Him...

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Who's In Control?

Monday, July 21, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

Baru inget satu kejadian di masa lalu, emotional thing actually... Ada satu waktu dimana aku bertanya 'n mengajukan tuntutan ke Dia...

I've done everything the best I could...
I've done everything according to the right standards and the right procedures...
...then why it had to be like this???
It is said that what you sow is what you reap...
I've done right... I've done well...
But why I got this bad result???


I was angry
I was so disappoint
I was so sad...

Tapi itu yang menunjukkan siapa yang sebenernya memegang kendali. He is God, not me. He is The Director, not me. Dia yang Maha Tahu, bukan aku.

Dan akhirnya setelah beberapa waktu terlewati, aku sadar itu adalah keputusan terbaik yang Dia ijinkan terjadi. It's for my freedom as His daughter, and for His best plan to be happen upon me.

This reminds me that even though at that time I was completely clueless and had tons of questions in my head... but after that passed away, it's so clear that He made that happened for my benefit, for my well being... it's a kind of favour from Him, because He cares so much about me...

Thank You God... You are The One in control... I'm just really glad it wasn't me =p

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a Famous Blogger

Monday, July 21, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

cartoon from www.weblogcartoons.com

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.


I think I've chosen the second route =p
I am a blogger but not quite famous yet... plus I'm just a part time blogger becoz of my other full time job...

But this is one thing that I've always wanted to be... a full time and famous blogger hehehe...

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Tested Faith: A Butterfly in Her Cocoon

Thursday, July 17, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

"I learned that faith isn't tested by how often God answers my prayers with a yes but by my willingness to continue serving him and thanking him, even when I don't have a clue as to what he is doing."

(Quote by Gary Thomas)


I found this quote in someone's blog and it really has remind me to keep my faith in Him... even though I just have no idea about what He's doing now in my life. I have one wish that I really want to fulfil, but until now I only have His promises, a sense in my heart (I still don't know whether it's from Him or just an expression of my own desire), and some longing thoughts...

But I guess maybe this is a time to exercise my faith. To keep on going, doing well, exploring and growing... while still hoping and knocking on Heaven's door. I believe He knows better than me, He can see things that I can't see, so all I need to do is just trust in Him, trust in His timing and His wisdom. I'm sure He will open the door when He thinks it's best for me and on the right timing...

I think I just need to think deeper about the lesson from a butterfly. At first, she was a caterpillar. Then, before she become a butterfly, she must passes a season as she has to stay inside her cocoon. I like to call the season as a time of waiting, a process that if it responded correctly, it can be an opportunity to produce patience, faith, trust, and wisdom. From the outside, it seems just a cocoon from time to time, it seems there's nothing happened, nothing has changed... But even though we can't see anything change (nor progress) from the outside, there is something happen inside the cocoon. Her strength is built, her wings is formed, her transformation is happened...

It is said that if there's someone help a butterfly out of her cocoon before it's time (before she can get out of it by herself, naturally), then actually this person is weakening her instead of helping her. Because her strength to fly is built as she is struggling to get free from her cocoon. It's an important process for her to enhance the strength of her wings, her ability to fly, and her capacity to be completely transformed.

I guess we (like it or not) must have ever to get through a season when we are in the cocoon. And our response will determine the result of our transformation... Will we be stronger or weaker, more beautiful (better) or worse?

It's a natural, and definitely an inspiring process to be learned... don't you think so?

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A Day Trip To Curug Cilember

Monday, July 14, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

Saturday, 12 July 2008, me and JCers (jawaban.com forum’s members: Roselyn, Ana, Delly, Amos, Andri, Fendi) went to Curug Cilember, Cisarua Bogor. “Curug” is a term means waterfall. At 7 am we met at the side road of Plaza Semanggi Jakarta as our meeting point. The night before I slept at Kezia’s dormitory so I could go earlier.

The information in the website that explained about Curug Cilember was not all correct, it was said that the trip from Jakarta to Curug Cilember only took time about 1 and half hour but we’ve finally got there after spending about 3 hours on the road. There was a traffic jam in the common path to Curug Cilember, so we took one person (and pay him for his service) to show us the alternative way to get there. It was a narrow, many turns, and quite steep way up we’ve gone through, steep enough that we had to got out of the car few times so the car could climbed up (honestly, we’ve already overloaded really hehehe… there were 9 people in the car). But when finally we’ve got there, it was paid off, quite fun hehehe…

Each of us paid 6.000,- for the entrance fee to Curug Cilember. There were already many people there, some of them were playing around the waterfall, taking pictures, playing “flying fox”, sitting near their tent, or just walking around. Actually there were 7 waterfalls in Curug Cilember. The most crowded visitors usually hang around at the 7th waterfall, where we’ve also visited, because it’s the lowest waterfall. The 1st waterfall is on the highest level, and it was said on the website as the most natural waterfall since people seldom could get there. We didn’t go up because we’ve ran out of time and already hungry so we had to search a place to get lunch. I hope next time I can go back there again and get to the 1st waterfall ;-p Plus I wasn’t satisfy to take pictures yet! ;-p

We ate lunch at “Saung Kuring” restaurant. Got God’s favour ‘cause one of JCers were wiling to pay for all of us ;-p After that we went down to the Bogor city, to “Gedung Dalam” to buy some local foods like “asinan Bogor”, “toge goreng”, and many more. I bought “chocolate cheese and cheese pia”, it’s quite crunchy and delicious. Then we went back to Jakarta and finally arrived to our meeting point at 5:40 pm.

Wanna go back… wanna take another trip (more trips!!!) to enjoy the beautiful nature… and definitely wanna take more pictures!!! ;-p

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Introspeksi Hakim Jadi-jadian

Tuesday, July 08, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

Tadi pagi lagi iseng ngebongkar tumpukan kertas yang isinya print-an bukti tentang satu hal dari taun lalu. I think it's time to throw them all away... Sempet baca-baca sekilas lagi... 'n tanpa sadar itu jadi bikin aku bete lagi ama orang ini. Aku pikir aku udah memaafkan dia 'n udah melewati paling ga 90% proses pemulihan, tapi ternyata belon.

When I was reading those lines, I felt so upset at how it could be happened back then... How I was so naive, or maybe I just have a wrong perspective... well, I don't know for sure, even now. And I just don't wanna keep that confusion, I just have to end it. But a few minutes later, while I was still reading, I judged this person, I said some bad words about this person... It only took few seconds for me to realize that I've been a fake judge... yap, fake, coz the real Judge and the only one Judge is Him...

I'm sorry God... I shouldn't do that...

Aku nyadar kalo orang ini juga ciptaanNya, milikNya, dan juga disayangiNya...
Roh Kudus negur, kalo kita ini juga disebut biji mataNya, then if someone hurts us, it actually means he or she has hurt Him too. In my part, I've hurted Him by being a fake judge and said bad words about His other children (my sibling)...

My part should be forgive this person, and only Him who has the right to judge... and the right to make a decission about the consequences... and also the right to raise up His justice.
Thanx for reminding me God... It's all come back to You...
Your grace and Your mercy is sufficient for me...
Your love and Your power is more than enough...
Thank You...

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King of all kings: We are the "kings"!

Friday, July 04, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

Yap, definitely He is King of all kings...
But who are the "kings"?
It's us!

Kenapa kita disebut "raja"?
Karna kita dimaksudkan untuk menguasai diri kita sendiri (termasuk pikiran, kehendak, emosi, semuanya) dan menundukkannya pada Dia, yang adalah Raja kita. Kita dimaksudkan untuk menjadi raja atas diri kita sendiri, to have power upon ourselves, to have self control. (Gal 5: 22-25 and 2 Tim 4:5 and 1 Petr 4:7)

Terlalu sering kita kalah dengan emosi kita, kalah dengan mood kita... Kita seringkali udah tau mana yang bener 'n mana yang salah, tapi karna kita lagi bad mood atau lagi bete, atau lagi stress... kita jadi kalah 'n dikendalikan ama semua itu, bukannya mengendalikan mereka.

Contoh yang paling gampang... soal makan... Kadang kalo lagi bad mood, stress atau lagi mellow, kita punya kecenderungan jadi males makan, atau malah makan berlebihan. Kalo kita nurutin kecenderungan itu, kita udah dikendalikan oleh emosi kita, bukannya mengendalikan emosi. Atau hal laen yang mirip, masih soal makanan... Misalnya kita udah tau kalo lagi batuk atau sakit tenggorokan, pantangannya tuh makan gorengan. Tapi kita tetep makan gorengan juga coz kita lagi pengen banget, ini berarti kita udah dikendalikan ama keinginan kita juga, bukannya mengendalikan keinginan.

Kita pasti udah tau kalo tubuh jasmani kita ini adalah bait Allah, Roh Kudus itu ada di dalam kita. Tuhan punya tujuan 'n rencana, Dia ingin bekerja sama ama kita selama kita berada di dunia yang sementara ini. Dan untuk hidup di dunia ini, untuk bener-bener bisa melakukan segalanya dengan maksimal, kita butuh tubuh jasmani yang sehat. Apa yang kita lakukan dengan tubuh kita itu juga salah satu bentuk penyembahan kita kepadaNya. Ya, itu termasuk gimana cara kita memperhatikan kebutuhan-kebutuhan tubuh kita, untuk makan makanan yang bergizi, untuk istirahat cukup, untuk berolahraga... Kita semua bisa bilang bahwa kita mau give the best for Him, tapi seringkali kita lupa hal yang paling mendasar. Gimana kita bisa give the best kalo kita ga peduli ama kesehatan tubuh kita?

Emang ga salah punya keinginan, dan ga mungkin juga mood kita selalu oke... Yea we live in a fallen world and we (the same as other people too) are all sinners... Itu hal-hal yang bisa membuat kita jadi bete, bad mood, marah, sedih, stress, atau punya banyak keinginan 'n harapan. Emotions indeed are our part as a human, because we are not robots, we have feelings. Tapi jangan sampe hidup kita 'n tindakan kita dikendalikan ama emosi. We are the kings of ourselves, and we have responsibility to control ourselves.

We have to keep this truth in our mind...

Ga ada satu hal pun yang ada pada kita saat ini yang bener-bener milik kita. Semuanya kita terima dari Dia. (1 Kor 6:19-20 and 1 Kor 4:7)
...dan itu termasuk tubuh kita... (ladies, love your body cause that's a gift from Him, cause we didn't choose to have a body like what we "wear" right now... and all we can do is to maximize it... don't say harsh words to your body, appreciate the gift...)

Dan karena itu, kita punya tanggung jawab atas segala sesuatu yang Dia percayakan ke kita. Patokan kita adalah kehendakNya, bukan kehendak kita...
That's why we need to rule as a king over ourselves. It takes time and process to get used to it... but it's all we need to do, to be kings... so we can worship Him, King of all kings, with all of our heart, soul, and mind, worship Him through our life (and its details).

In all things, it's never about us, it's all about Him.

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Current Wish List

Wednesday, July 02, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

- Pengen tau kepastian 'n konfirmasi soal 1 hal
- Pengen ngobrolin 'n ngajarin 'n explore kompie ke dad 'n mom di rumah
- Pengen makan masakannya dad yang baru aja les masak sehari, soalnya kata mom enak hehehe...
- Ketemuan 'n jalan bareng ama Enjie 'n rombongannya temen Thaiku ke Jogja ntar Oktober
- Pengen ke pantai 'n ke tempat-tempat yang pemandangan alamnya indah atau unik, pengen menikmati semua itu 'n juga foto-foto pastinya hehehe...
- Pengen make beautiful and memorable moments ama orang-orang deketku sebelon the next phase or the next destination
- Pengen meluk anjing atau kucing... tapi yang bersih hehehe... Lagi pengen meluk-meluk...
- Menindaklanjuti keinginan sebelonnya, pengen ke kebun binatang siy, tapi yang terawat, yang ga jorok... perasaan aku dulu waktu kecil cuman pernah ke bonbin sekali abis gitu ga pernah lagi (and emang ga pengen lagi siy), tapi sekarang pengen aja... pengen foto-foto ama penghuninya hehehe...
- Wanna do something new that I can still enjoy (or maybe I can enjoy more)

I trust my hopes and wishes to You God... ^.^

0 comments:

Be Patient With Yourself

Tuesday, July 01, 2008 Fay 0 Comments

After the wounds and hurts
After the denial and tears
After those deep thoughts

Sometimes...
You feel that you should have been recovered
You feel that your heart had been healed
Because gradually you can see things clearer and start to be grateful

But there are times...
You shocked to the reality that your heart still hurts
Your mind tells you that there's still hate and unforgiveness
And you're frustated by yourself... asking how can you be so slow...

"When will I be truly recovered?"
"Why does it takes me so long to get over this?"
"How long I must endure this uncertain emotions?"
"All I want is to be normal again... How come it's so difficult?"

Sometimes... it takes more than time to take care of the wounds
Sometimes it needs patience and understanding from yourself...
Your heart needs His touch
...and also your patience...

Just keep this in mind... you are still safe in His arms...
He is still holding your future in His hands
and you are still His beloved daughter...
The storm is only in your emotions and your mind...

...and don't you remember that He had calmed the storm?

So... just keep holding on...
Keep walking with your hopes and faith in Him
You can stop for a while to take a rest... but don't quit
Cause He has not done with you and He has not quit on you

...and please be patient with yourself :-)

PS: to my friends (you two know who you are), one day you will completely get over this. As long as you walk in obedience with Him as Your God, then everything will be okay... cause He's in control of your life (including love life of course) ^.^ My prayers be with both of you...

I've been there and done that... That's what I've learned to get through...

0 comments: