Silence is The Best In Work

Most of the time when I'm concentrating in something, such as writing poems or working on certain kinds of writing (including quotes), I prefer silence or slow music arround me... It's kinda hard for me to keep myself tuned in with what I'm doing if the room is so noisy...

But for other people in my department room, they prefer loud music, and for them, music like that can lift their spirit up, make them more tuned in to work... It's kind of a dilemma...

Lately it's been a kind of struggling to me...
However... I'm trying to do my best and keep patient, keep my emotions in control...

I just wanna write about this... at least I have pouring my unspeakable words to this very faithful blog...

Relationship 'n Gambar Diri

Hubungannya? Banyak! Just like it said that "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17 - NKJV)

Dalam hubungan kita ama orang laen (note that "relationship" I'm talking about here is in general, not only a relationship between man and woman), makin deket kita ama mereka, makin besar kemungkinan konflik 'n gesekan yang terjadi. Konflik itu bisa jadi karna perbedaan persepsi, cara pandang, kebiasaan, etika, dan laennya. Ada konflik-konflik yang umum, tapi ada juga konflik yang menyinggung gambar diri... That's why aku bilang kalo relationship itu bisa menguji gambar diri.

Tiga taun lalu aku mulai berteman ama seorang cewek. Beda umur kita jauh, dia lebih tua sekitar 14 taunan gitu... tapi ga tau knapa sampe sekarang masih nyambung hehehe... Awalnya ga gampang juga... soalnya selaen beda umur jauh, ada beda-beda yang laen termasuk beda karakter. Dia extrovert (maybe koleris-melankolis), aku introvert (melankolis-phlegmatis). Dari situ aja banyak konflik yang terjadi. Emang siy kita ga sempet sampe yang marahan ngambek yang gimana gitu... tapi pernah ada saat-saat dimana aku ngerasa udah ga tahan temenan deket ama dia, coz dia sering mengkoreksi aku. Kadang emang koreksinya netral, emang demi kebaikanku, tapi yang bikin aku ga tahan itu koreksinya yang emang karna aku beda ama dia (terutama dari karater tadi itu). Aku ngerasa dia pengen aku kayak dia, lebih extrovert, lebih gini, lebih gitu, jangan gini, jangan gitu... Pernah ada puisi yang aku tulis pas waktu aku ngerasa dah cape banget temenan ama dia di blog ini hehehe... di halaman belakang banget kayaknya.

Tapi... entah kita jadi nyambung lagi... mungkin karna kita sama-sama bertahan 'n latian sabar satu sama laen... Ayat itu terbukti kok pada akhirnya hehehe... Sekarang dah ga ada lagi koreksi-koreksi yang menyakitkan buat aku coz dia akhirnya mengakui kalo aku emang beda 'n perbedaan yang aku punya itu berguna, salah satunya dia ngakuin aku itu pendengar yang baek hehehe... Jadinya kita akur deh... Tapi dulu pas masih ada konflik-konflik gitu sering aku ngerasa kata-kata dia nyinggung gambar diriku.

Hubungan deket kedua yang juga sempet bikin aku meragukan gambar diri barusan aku lalui. It's not easy though, coz aku ga yakin apakah ini something (ada beberapa hal siy bukan cuman satu) yang emang seharusnya aku ubah (coz kayaknya kalo diubah jadinya bukan gue banget, kayak berpura-pura jadi orang laen) demi kebaikanku ataukah ini something yang dia tegur semata-mata karna selera dia yang beda ama seleraku. Coz jujur perkataan orang ini nyakitin aku.

So I asked God how can I handle this... gimana cara pandang yang bener... gimana menurut Dia tentang ini... Step by step... I'm getting to know and see it clearer... And all I can say is... ga semua koreksi dari orang itu 100% bener atau 100% salah. People's words are simply show us about them (their views, their likes and dislikes, their moods etc). But sometimes God can use their words to make us reflect to ourselves... Dia mengijinkan kata-kata yang mungkin menyakitkan buat kita (karna menyinggung gambar diri kita) untuk menguji apakah gambar diri kita sudah kokoh berakar di dalam Dia atau belum...

Look at back then... I realize that what it said in Rome 8:28 ("And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose") is true. Mengutip perkataan Pak Pati Ginting dari bukunya "Semua Hal Ada Dasarnya", emang ga semua hal yang terjadi di dunia ini sesuai ama rancangan awalNya, tapi dalam semua hal yang Dia ijinkan terjadi, Dia ikut campur tangan untuk kebaikan kita.

The key is to be open and honest with Him... It's okay to tell Him that their words hurt you, but don't stop right there. Let Him shape you and make you stronger in Him through all that you've been through... Jiayou ^.^

Today is a Gift: 10 Reasons to Love Your Life Today

Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
(Bil Keane)

Today is a gift. We have all the reasons to be excited about today, but too often we forget about it. We may end up complaining and feel bad about today. Don’t let it happen. Let’s count your blessings and see why you should love your life today:

1. Today you are healthy
We are so used to being healthy that we forget how good being healthy is. Sometimes we need to be sick to appreciate the blessing of being healthy.

2. Today you have someone who loves you
Being lonely is terrible. Today, if you have someone who loves you, you have something more valuable than wealth.

3. Today you have opportunity to love
Not only do you have someone who loves you, today you also have the opportunity to love them - and other people - back.

4. Today you have good meals to eat
If you can eat a good meal today, just remember that many people can’t. Many people struggle to eat even once a day.

5. Today you have a job
Many people are jobless. If you aren’t, you have a reason to be excited about your work.

6. Today you live in peace
I just can’t imagine living in the midst of war. Fear and terror will always haunt me. I could lose the people I love anytime. I could even lose my life.

7. Today you have clean air to breathe
You don’t have to wear a mask, do you? Many people in the world must. In some parts of the world the air quality is so bad people can no longer breathe freely.

8. Today you are safe
You can go to the places you want without worrying that something bad will happen to you. That’s something to be grateful for.

9. Today you have opportunity to give
Giving is among the best ways to increase your happiness and today you have the opportunity to give.

10. Today is a new day
Forget the past. Forget yesterday. Today you have the opportunity to begin anew.

Sumber:
http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/04/25/today-is-a-gift-10-reasons-to-love-your-life-today/

Love and Hate

"It's not enough for a gardener to love the flowers, but he must also hate the weeds."

Love His truth.. Hate the evil's lies
Love His commands by obeying them.. because even when they don't feel enjoyable, they were made for our safety and our happiness
Hate evil's persuasions by ignoring them.. because even when they do feel exciting, they were made for his pleasure and our misery.. to take us down with him..

It's not enough for us to love God, but we must also hate evil.

Unik 'n Spesifik

Another meaningful lesson from "Kungfu Panda" movie:

Benih pohon cherry teuteup bakal jadi pohon cherry, ga peduli seberapa besarnya kita berharap benih itu bakal tumbuh jadi pohon apel atau pohon jeruk.

Itu omongan Master Oogway ke Master Shifu, sebelon Master Oogway terangkat ama daun-daun pink... waktu Master Shifu mempertanyakan soal si Poo (Kungfu Panda).

Simple tapi dalem... Khususnya buat ortu kali yah... coz masih banyak ortu yang bukannya berusaha mengenali benih apa yang Tuhan titipin ke mereka, tapi malah memaksakan harapan mereka sendiri ke benih itu. Padahal yang ciptain benih itu kan Tuhan, Dia yang ngasih setiap anak kemampuan, talenta, dan keunikan-keunikan lain yang memungkinkan anak itu untuk menggenapi tujuanNya yang spesifik atas keberadaan anak itu di dunia. Dia yang punya rencana, dan setiap anak itu adalah milikNya. Bagian orang tua adalah mengenali keunikan anak mereka (mengenali benih) 'n membantu sebisa mungkin mengembangkan sampai ke potensi maksimalnya.

Di "Kungfu Panda" movie, ini ditunjukin ama pengakuan Master Shifu ke Poo, waktu dia bilang something like this, "Waktu kamu konsen ke kungfu, kamu gagal. Tapi mungkin ini juga salahku, aku ga bisa melatih kamu sama seperti aku melatih 5 pendekar yang lain. Sekarang aku tau bahwa cara untuk melatih kamu adalah melalui makanan..." sambil nunjukin semangkok bakpao yang menggiurkan ituh... (jadi inget bakpao Chik Yen... slurp... hueee... pengen bakpao kacang tanahnya Chik Yen... ok back to the topic =p)

Dan akhirnya kan beneran kebukti, setelah Master Shi Fu memperlakukan Poo dengan spesifik sesuai keunikannya, melatihnya ke arah destiny-nya (to become the dragon warrior), Poo akhirnya berhasil ngalahin Tai Lung.

Sebenernya ini juga ga terbatas cuman bisa diterapin antara ortu ama anaknya juga siy, tapi bisa juga antara guru ama murid, antara pimpinan ama bawahan yang dia pimpin... coz untuk mengerjakan something spesific secara maksimal itu butuh orang dengan spesifikasi khusus juga.

Misalnya, orang yang tipe rame 'n marketing abis, trus bukan tipe orang yang organized gituh, kalo disuruh duduk diem ngerjain administrasi atau keuangan pasti dia bisa stress 'n performa kerjanya ga bagus. Bukan karna dia emang parah atau ga pinter, tapi karna bidang kerjanya ga sesuai ama spesifikasi dia (potensi dan keunikan dia). Coba ditempatin di kerjaan yang cocok, pasti bisa maksimal, tinggal diasah 'n perbanyak pengalaman. Sebaliknya, kalo tipe orang yang organized, yang ga terlalu banyak ngomong, yang suka nulis, disuruh cuap-cuap jadi bagian marketing atau MC, bukannya ga bisa, bisa siy bisa, tapi pasti ga bisa maksimal kayak orang yang emang potensinya di situ. Tapi kalo dia jadi penulis atau apapun yang sesuai ama spesifikasinya, pasti bisa maksimal 'n sukses. Kalo hasil "penempatan" yang ga cocok itu cuman bikin frustasi kedua belah pihak, then maybe it's about time to do things in the right way ;-p

Ini juga bisa diterapin di persahabatan atau relationship juga. If we want to help and maximize other people, we shouldn't force them to fulfill our expectations. Mereka adalah benih-benih unik yang diciptain Tuhan. Garis-garis di batang pohon aja ga ada yang sama persis satu ama yang laen, karakter binatang aja ga ada yang sama persis, apalagi manusia yang onderdilnya jauh jauhhhhhh lebih complicated daripada taneman atau binatang. Kalo kita emang bener-bener mau memaksimalkan orang lain, hal pertama yang sangat masuk akal buat dilakuin adalah mengenali keunikannya, mengenali potensinya, bakatnya, passion-nya... Coz semua itu udah ditaruh Tuhan di masing-masing kita. Kalo itu udah dikenalin, bakal lebih gampang buat bantu mengasah 'n najeminnya. Yang ngebantu 'n yang dibantu sama-sama seneng kan? Ga ada yang frustasi karna pemaksaan =p Win win solution hehehe...

And... as we know this truth, there's no reason to be jealous of other's uniqueness. Cause you are unique in your own way, each of us have a different kind of uniqueness. Kita kudu sama-sama ask God 'n belajar mengenali diri sendiri juga, buat tau benih apa yang Tuhan taruh dalam diri kita. Coz ga semua orang bertumbuh di lingkungan yang mendukung perkembangan keunikannya. Masih ada orang-orang, keluarga, 'n lingkungan yang ga ngerti kenyataan tentang "benih" ini. And the most trusted One to guide us is Himself, our Creator, who had put the seed in us... ;-)

Bosen Ngetik

Iya... sejak megang menu Spiritual aku jadi bosen ngetik... Seharian dari pagi sampe sore menjelang malem -break cuman pas lunch atau pas ke toilet atau pas ngambil aer minum- ngetikkkkk mulu. Padahal sebelon ini aku ga pernah bosen ngetik. Ni kok jadi kayaknya kerjaan ngetik ga abis-abis... T_T what's happening here yah?

Tapi bosen ngetik ini ga termasuk ngetik blog log hihihi... Yah namanya juga blogger, ga mungkin dunk bosen ngetik di blog... hehehe... Cuman kalo dah bikin artikel lagi tu bawaannya bosen ngetik... cape ngetik... jari-jemari ini juga membutuhkan pemulihan jiwa... *halah* hehehe... Bedanya kalo ngetik blog tu kan emang buat curhat, numpahin isi pikiran atau isi hati atau perasaan ke tulisan, jadinya ga berasa cape 'n bosen, coz itu kebutuhan. Tapi kalo ngetik artikel, dengan load artikel yang lebih banyak ketimbang menu Relationship, jadinya cape... =p

Okay... be grateful... be grateful... *baru diingetin sebelon ngeluhnya panjang =p*
I'm grateful for having these hands... very bery grateful... =)
They are so precious...

...and because they are so precious, I'm gonna let them find their rest, away from the keyboard =p Okay mo pulang dulu ah hihihi...

Hands, say good bye to keyboard...
"Bubuy keyboard... not gonna miss you tonite... hwehehe..."

Prayers...

Yang penting kan beneran didoain walopun ga ngomong ke orangnya, "Aku doain kamu"...

Sering aku lebih suka mikir kayak gitu... Jadi walopun aku doain, aku ga pake bilang ke orang yang aku doain kalo aku juga bantu doain dia. Alasannya... apa yah... yang penting kan beneran didoain... ;-p

Tapi minggu lalu abis ngobrol ama salah satu temenku 'n abis dia cerita soal yang dia alamin, aku jadi terdorong buat ngomong ke dia kalo aku juga doain dia. Heran aja, soalnya biasanya aku juga doain orang ga pake acara bilang-bilang ke orangnya =p Akhirnya aku bilang juga 'n dari responnya aku jadi ngeh kalo emang perlu buat bilang ke orangnya coz itu bisa nambah semangat dia, bikin dia tau kalo dia ga sendirian, kalo ada orang yang (at least walopun ga bisa bantuin dia secara langsung 'n ga ada di sisinya sekarang) peduli ama dia.

Sama kayak aku juga siy... Belakangan ada something that I need to pray about... When I told this to my mom and asked her to pray for me too, mamaku bilang ya pasti didoain... Yea... actually I knew that even though I didn't literally ask her to pray, she'd pray for me anyway, just like she's used to... But when I heard her words, affirmed that she would pray, hoping the best for me, I felt so relieved, so glad, so grateful... that I'm not alone, that I have someone who cares, that I have someone who wants the best for me...

So... I guess laen kali aku ga bakal diem aja =p Next time I'll tell the person too that I'll pray for them too, pray together with them... =p Soalnya itu menguatkan 'n membangkitkan semangat =p hehehe...

PS: Mom, you're the best mom... thank you for your consistent prayers... you are really an example... Miss you ^.^

The Present

From "The Kungfu Panda" movie

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mistery
but TODAY is a gift

That's why it is called "PRESENT"

(originally by Eleanor Roosevelt)

PS: Really, it's an inspiration...

There's No Exact Formula

In our journey with God, there's no such thing as perfect nor exact formula.

This lesson I learned recently... and a conversation with a fellow brother at lunch today has brought back my memory. Even though I got this point after a phase of an ended relationship, but I think it works the same for other areas in life.

My past experience has been an evidence to me that even though I had made sure that everything was going on under the right "procedure", everything was going so well (at least when it started), plus I got no "red lights" at all (before I started and at least at the beginning). Everything seemed so under control, so nice, and so right.

But at the end, after few months of recovery process, I realized that in a journey of life, there's no perfect formula or 100% guaranteed procedure to success. Because if there are such things, then we wouldn't need God anymore, we wouldn't need to be connected with Him.

God is never change, He is the same God who created the earth, the same God who guide the Israelites out of the land of slavery with awesome miracles, the same God who lead us today. But His strategies and His ways are not the same for each of us and for each situation.

In the Old Testaments, He had different strategies to won each battle. At one time He told His people to attack (the type of attacks were also differ from one another), another times He told His people to just stand up, to circle around and sang praises to Him, to stepped back... There are so many examples in the bible showed us that He is a Super Creative God.

And to win our battles in life now, it works the same. We must connected to Him in order to succeed. The right formulas, procedures, or even healthy boundaries are made to guard us and encourage us to be careful in our steps, choices, and decissions, but they are not a 100% success guaranteed apart from His spesific guide.

Another lesson... no matter how hard we try to do the right things, no matter how hard we do the best, sometimes it just doesn't work the way we expect... It makes me realize that unity is a very important thing to be success. Sometimes the factor that contributes to the failure is not because of what we have done, but because of others, or because of the wrong timing, or because of the hard situation, or maybe it's simply because God thinks it's not good for us (or a combination of them). This is not an excuse to blame everything else except us, but I wrote this to make all of us to think about the other factors that are completely out of our control. This is just the way it goes...

So... don't let your heart gets bitter and don't let your mind keeps spin around thinking about the things that out of your control. Learn through your experience and get connected with Him in all areas of your life. Keep the peace of your heart.. and be strong, be courageous, cause He is with you...

You Know It... and That's Enough

When there’s no one knows
What my heart is saying
When there’s no one can read completely
What my feeling is pouring

I know You understand
I know You listen…

Just by knowing that You know…
It’s quite enough to calm this waves

Sweet Surprise

This is about a new friend... hehehe...

Baru hari Minggu kemaren aku kelarin bukunya Grace Suryani "Tuhan Mengapa Aku Harus ke China?" Pas baca halaman belakangnya, aku inget ada temenku yang tempat kerjanya sama. Langsung deh aku sms temenku nanya nomer telpon tempat kerjanya. I told God I wanna meet Grace Suryani, pengen bertemen aja... secara sama-sama penulis 'n beberapa yang dia tulis tuh aku juga pernah ngerasain, jadi yah apa yah... berasa nyambung aja hehehe...

Kenapa aku pengen kenalan ama Grace Suryani? Soalnya sebelon baca bukunya itu, aku baru tau (iya baru tau - kemana aja loe Fay? hihihihi... maklum aku juga baru nyadar kalo ternyata aku belon banyak tau seputar dunia maya hehehe...) tentang penulis ini yang punya arsip artikel di glorianet. Gara-gara lagi searching artikel, nemu blognya seseorang yang ngelink ke glorianet punya Grace. Jadi baru tau deh hehehe... Trus pas lagi jalan di CL, di toko buku Haleluya ngeliat ada buku dia, judulnya juga nyambung pisan (aku ngebayangin kalo aku bikin buku yang sama maybe judulnya "Tuhan Kenapa Aku Harus ke Lippo Cikarang?" soalnya di sini itu ibaratnya battle fieldku- sama kayak Cina itu battle fieldnya Grace hehehe...)

Senen kemaren udah niat mau telpon ke tempat kerja dia, cuman belon sempet aja... kerjaan lagi bejibun, plus binun mikir ntar kalo dah nyambung mo ngobrol apaan yah... Jadilah aku cuman tinggalin komentar di page glorianet-nya.

Tadi pagi, kaget... soalnya Grace liat FSku... Aku sampe mikir darimana yah kok dia bisa tau FSku... Ternyata setelah aku liat-liat foto-foto FSnya, ada foto dia ama Rita. Oalah... Ritaaa, you are really connecting people hehehe... Tadi juga Grace kirim message di FS 'n baru aku bales. This will be continued I hope hehehe... secara di sini langka bangettttt yang namanya penulis hehehe...

Thank You God... I'm so amazed....

PS: Rita, just keep connecting people... you're the experttttt!!! hehehehe... Thanx a bunch yah hehehe....

It’s Not About Us

Seringkali, saat kita mengira kita meragukan diri kita sendiri, meragukan kemampuan kita, meragukan kepekaan kita, meragukan respon kita… sebenarnya yang kita ragukan bukan diri kita, tapi Dia.

I’ve just realised that recently… I’ve doubted and questioned about many things, all the “what if”s are hanging around my mind. Mostly, I’ve doubted about myself. I was afraid that I’ve missed few moments and chances, that I’ve let life passed me by… I was worried that I grew too slow, that I didn’t match with the right timing…

But just in one gentle voice, He told me that I wasn’t questioning about myself, I was questioning about Him… Deep down, I doubted Him, I doubted His guidance, His ability to lead me in the timeline, and I doubted His power to affect me and my life significantly… It’s not about me basicly, it’s about my faith in Him, it’s about how close I know Him.. how much I put my trust in Him… I’m sorry God… I’m so sorry…

If we really know Him and trust in Him, then we wouldn't doubt about anything, include ourselves, coz even though we're lack of ability or sensitivity or everything else, His power and His love are more than enough to be our source and His guidance is more than enough to lead us back to (or walk in) the right path in the right timing. It's also said in 2 Cor 12:9, "And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

The truth is, as long as we are counting on Him, there's nothing we could doubt about... yap, absolutely nothing...

Doing One by One and Persevere

Huaaaaa.... pusinkkkkk
Banyak banget kerjaannya T_T

Ini hari pertama jobdesk menu Spiritual... menunya banyak bok... masih untung itu video kesaksian bukan aku yang kerjain. Kalo ga gatau deh jadi apa... keteteran pasti. Pusinkkkkk

Mana dari tadi masih YM ama anak forum soal acara baksos Panti Jompo, belon lagi soal beberapa masalah forum online.... so many focuses T_T secara aku orangnya fokus banget, jadi kalo udah kebanyakan yang mesti dipantengin gini bawaannya langsung panik abiez...

Okay calm down... calm down...
Kayaknya belakangan ini emang lagi dikasih kesempatan buat belajar menguasai diri 'n lebih tenang deh... abis situasinya memicu kepanikan 'n pressure gini hehehe...
Okay I will learn...

Jiayouuuuuuuuuuu...

Prayers in Writing

Do we have to pray in just one kind of attitude? When we heard the words “someone is praying”, we often imagine a person is kneeling (or sitting) and clasp his or her hands togeher. That image is so popular to describe about praying. But I think it’s just one of many ways of praying…

I don’t usually pray sitting or kneeling quietly… sometimes I pray and walk around, I pray while I’m walking alone, I pray while I’m in any kinds of places (bathroom, bedroom, office, kitchen, etc), and most often, I pray in my writings… ;-p

Pray is a way to connect with Him right? And if He is unlimited, then why we have to limit the way we pray? We can talk to Him and hear Him through many ways, through conversation, through silent moments, anything! And yap, that’s include through writing!

He appreciates the differences, besides, He indeed created the differences… and that’s include the difference in ways we connected with Him. I like writing and I’m writing soooo often… then it’s not a surprise that my diary is contain prayers and His answers too ;-p

Well, how do you pray?

Box of Books To Read

Belakangan aku dah ga setia lagi euy hihihihi.... Kalo dulu aku selalu kelarin 1 buku dulu sebelon mulai baca buku yang laen. Ya kalopun men-dua atau men-tiga tu masih ketauan yang lebih aku prioritasin yang mana. Setelah sekian lama rada absen beli buku, belakangan banyak banget buku bagus yang aku beli 'n semuanya belon kelarrrr T_T Abis semuanya bagus... ya plus buku yang udah lama aku beli tapi belon juga kelar dibaca...

List of them:
- "Tuhan Mengapa Aku Harus ke China" by Grace Suryani
- "Your Best Life Now" by Joel Osteen
- "Bible Promises for Women" by (lupa nama pengarangnya hehehe...)
- "The Lion, The Witch, and The Bible" by Robert Verlade (based on CS Lewis's Books)
- "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis
- "Segala Sesuatu Ada Dasarnya" by Pati Ginting
- Reader Digest Juni

Hmm... kayaknya masih ada lagi deh... cuman lupa... hehehe... lagi maruk hehehe... But it's cool... I need them most at these times... they are all a great input for me.

And... a little news... my mom planned to visit me at the end of July... ^o^ and probably she will stay here at my dorm for about a week. Miss her so much... ^o^ I wish we can go out of Cikarang and go out of Jakarta... Yang kepikir pertama kali siy palingan ke Bandung... atau ke mana yah... masih mereka-reka rencana 'n minta ama Daddy hehehe...

Ternyata oh Ternyata....

Hihihihi... lucu juga...
Mungkin bener kali yah yang dibilang orang, dunia itu sempit...

Baru hari ini aku iseng buka My Yahoo di internet, lagi nge-break-in diri bentar ini ceritanya, setelah gatau dah berapa lama ga buka My Yahoo. Di sana aku nyimpen beberapa link blog yang duluuuu sering aku baca. Pas aku liatin satu-satu, eh ternyata, *kaget* ada link "blognya Indiegal" a.k.a. ga laen ga bukan blognya Tammy! Iya, Tammy yang temen kantor, yang se-ruangan di IT, yang sama-sama WebContent di jawaban.com, yang bagian dari gank cewek IT hehehe...

Pas aku bilang ke dia kalo ternyata dulu aku nyimpen link blognya dia, baru dia juga bilang kalo sebelum dia ngelamar kerja di sini, dia juga udah pernah baca blogku 'n ngebayangin aku orang aslinya kayak apa... huehehehe... kok ya bisa gitu loh... So gimana Tam, image-ku yang tersirat dari blogku ama aslinya? Hehehe... aku ga bakal protes kalo dibilang rada beda dikit (ups, beda jauh?) hehehe... yah gimana lagi, namanya juga penulis, yang pasti lebih cerewet di tulisan ketimbang di mulut hehehe... So tell me tell me hehehe... komen ntar yah Tam!

Lucu... jadi inget aja kalo Tuhan itu emang ga bisa dibatesin 'n kadang emang suka ngasih kejutan plus hal-hal yang ga pernah diduga sama sekali... hehehe...

God Knows It Already

Sekarang kita memang ga tau tentang hal-hal yang sudah atau lagi kita alamin, apa tujuannya, buat apa kita harus mengalami ‘n merasakan semua itu. But God is already knew just from the beginning. He can see through our future, that’s why He told us not to worry… for He has prepared the best for us in everything, and He already saw the bright future is waiting for us, as long as we’re not giving up our faith.

Last Friday I read CS Lewis’s book “The Lion, The Witch, and The Bible”. I just bought it an hour earlier. Logically I didn’t know why I bought that kind of book, it’s not my usual book-type, but I bought it anyway. And you know what? The words in the first chapter had already knock me up! Some of them I wrote in my diary, but this one I will share with you:

“Kuatkan dan teguhkanlah hatimu, janganlah takut dan jangan gemetar karena mereka, sebab TUHAN, Allahmu, Dialah yang berjalan menyertai engkau; Ia tidak akan membiarkan engkau dan tidak akan meninggalkan engkau. Sebab TUHAN, Dia sendiri akan berjalan di depanmu, Dia sendiri akan menyertai engkau, Dia tidak akan membiarkan engkau dan tidak akan meninggalkan engkau; janganlah takut dan janganlah patah hati.” (Ul 31:6-8)

Ayat ini yang Dia kasih buat neguhin aku dulu sebelum aku ke Lippo Cikarang. And those words encouraged me once again this time… to know that He is with me no matter what I feel, no matter what I’m going through… no matter what I will step into…

Tadi pagi sebelon berangkat ngantor, aku juga sempet baca bukunya Grace Suryani, “Tuhan, Mengapa Aku Harus ke China?” Ada kata-katanya yang kena banget di aku juga… Sama seperti Abraham, Yusuf, Daud, Daniel dan yang lainnya, mereka ga tau untuk apa mereka mengalami (well let’s say) “masa-masa padang gurun”. Buat Daud, masa-masa itu adalah ketika dia lari dari satu gua ke gua lainnya buat menghindari kejaran Saul yang mau membunuhnya. Kita juga punya saat-saat padang gurun itu… saat-saat dimana kita bertanya-tanya,
“Tuhan, sampai kapan aku harus ngalamin ini?”
“Berapa lama lagi aku harus ngejalanin ini?”
“Sebenernya buat apa sih Tuhan aku harus ngalamin semua ini?”
“Gimana masa depanku nanti dengan keadaanku yang seperti sekarang?”
Saat-saat dimana mungkin kita ngerasa jenuh, ngerasa udah mentok, ngerasa udah cukup, ngerasa pengen ninggalin kekusutan atau ke”datar”an ini…

But like Joel Osteen said in his book “Your Best Life Now”, Tuhan paling sering bekerja saat kita paling tidak menyadari atau merasakannya. He is still working in us, shaping us… no matter we feel it or not. His presence is real, no matter we feel it or not. We can’t live based on our feelings, we live by our faith, coz we are His people!

Mungkin sekarang kita ga bisa ngeliat apa tujuan dari semua hal yang udah ‘n lagi kita alami. Mungkin kita udah ga tahan ‘n capek. But His work in us have not completed yet. If we learn what He want us to learn and do our best in this phase, then He’ll take us to the next phase. Our life is a neverending journey indeed. But the good news is… He knew this already. Dia tahu apa yang ada di depan sana, apa yang menunggu kita… Dia sudah mempersiapkan hadiah dan kejutan-kejutan yang Dia tahu bakal bikin kita bahagia. He wants us live to the fullest, and take each step with Him.

So, cheer up my friends…
Coz though we don’t know, He knows it already… and that’s enough…
Jiayouuuuuuu ^.^

Just Until This Week

Huaaaa.... I'm gonna leave my current jobdesk soon T_T
Next week I'll be in a quite "new world" in the same website... yea of course I'm still in the same city, the same office, and the same desk. This is my jobdesk we're talking about... Sigh...

Since July 2007, I've been making articles for relationship menu in www.jawaban.com. Those include articles for sub menu: Single and Lovable, Husband and Wife, and Parenting. Of course, not all of them made by myself, I'm not married yet, not to mention be a parent hehehehe... I made original articles only for Single and Lovable sub menu, once in a while. The other articles could be a mixed up from some sources, and sometimes are translated from other english articles.

So, few weeks ago, my supervisor already told me and the other WebContents, that he would make a few changes in our jobdesk. And yesterday, he informed us about them. Starting next week, I will no longer make articles for relationship menu, but for spiritual menu. My job as jawaban.com's forum admin will be reduced a bit, cause I will only be an administrative admin (it means I do the online stuffs), while he picked one of my colleague, Tammy, to be the second admin (she will do the offline stuffs, like arrange forum's meet and greet, etc) And I also get an addition work, to make 10 sms content for CBN mobile. These changes are made to balance our workload.

Phew... leaving things that usually be our part of daily tasks is not easy... I still feel kinda heavy hehehe... But the change is quite good I think... So, adios amigos relationship menu... I will still keep an eye on you of course hehehe... But I'll have new priorities next week. Gotta do better!

Jiayouuuu
Ganbatte...!!!

Jiwa Pengembara

Satu nada
Bermain menyusuri tepian hati
Jejaknya di pasir terhapus ombak
Hanya hening yang berbisik

Mengapa hanya diam?
Nada meluruh dalam kelana jiwa

Jiwa ini sedang merindu
Menatap sesuatu yang masih abstrak
Ingin berteduh di jeda perantauan
Khayalkan sebentuk rumah kalbu

Jiwa ini sedang lelah
Beradu sekian lama di antah berantah
Melintasi patahan-patahan perjalanan
Dalam seperempat episode kehidupan

Apakah yang membuatku galau berada jauh di sana?
Ataukah....
Itu ada di dalam sini?

Hatiku tahu...
Rasakan detakNya tetap bersamaku
Hanya itu saja... sudah cukup bagiku
Kakiku akan terus merajut kisah...

Soundtrack-nya Alvin and The Chipmunks

Udah dari beberapa minggu lalu, gara-gara beli DVD-nya Alvin and The Chipmunks, aku pengen cari MP3 lagu-lagu soundtracknya. Pernah bilang ke temenku di Jakarta, katanya temen dia punya, tapi kayaknya temennya dia itu dah lupa mau ngirim lewat email. Ya udahlah jadinya aku lupain aja... Walo udah ngerekam beberapa lagu-lagu dari filmnya buat dijadiin sms tone di HPku (maksa! hihihihi...).

Trus kemaren, gara-gara denger bunyi sms di HPku, jadi pengen lagi deh lagu-lagunya mereka. Aku pasang status di YMku "Siapa punya MP3nya lagu soundtrack Alvin and The Chipmunks?". Sampe sore ga ada kabar. So yaudah...

Malem aku ke Pujasera makan ama temen kantor. Iseng abis makan mampir ke tempat jual DVD. Di sana juga jual CD ama MP3 juga gitu. Pas lagi ngeliatin DVD film-film, tiba-tiba aku denger ada lagunya Alvin and The Chipmunks! Karna di layar TVnya mereka ga ada gambar, jadi aku pikir itu pasti MP3! Langsung aku nanya mbaknya yang jual. Ternyata itu CD! Wih yaudahlah ga masalah mo MP3 atau CD, aku beli langsung!!! Hihihihi...

Thanx God! Hehehehe.. Your gift to cheer me up ^.^

“Daya Tahan” yang Terlalu Kuat Ternyata Ga Selamanya Menguntungkan

How come? Bukannya daya tahan yang kuat itu bagus? Iya, tapi daya tahan yang terlalu kuat itu malah merugikan.

Minggu lalu ada temenku yang habis operasi usus buntu. Dia harus cepet-cepet dioperasi gara-gara usus buntunya udah parah banget. Dokternya bilang seharusnya usus buntu itu bisa dideteksi dari awal, gejala-gejalanya harusnya udah kerasa. Tapi karena daya tahan tubuh temenku ini terlalu kuat, jadinya baru ketauan pas udah parah. But now she’s fine, she’s in a recovery process in her home. Temenku ini orangnya emang “perkasa” abiez. Kalo dia sampe ngomong dia sakit, itu berarti sakitnya udah parah banget.

Pas temenku ini cerita tentang omongan dokter itu, aku langsung nyambung soal “daya tahan” ini. Dulu, aku pikir enak yah jadi orang yang ga terlalu peka, yang ga terlalu sensitif atau perasa… Mereka dengan enaknya tanpa sadar udah nyakitin orang lewat kata-kata atau perbuatan mereka, tapi mereka ga ngerasa apa-apa, biasa aja gitu… tapi orang yang sensitif ngerasa sakit. Kayaknya punya “kulit” yang tebel itu lebih menguntungkan coz ga gampang ngerasa sakit, lempeng-lempeng aja gitu. Trus kalopun ada orang yang “menyakiti” mereka, mereka ga terlalu berasa juga, jadi ga seberapa ngefek ke mereka. Ini cuman salah satu contoh aja…

But my opinion was proved wrong… coz “daya tahan” yang terlalu kuat itu selaen bahaya juga merugikan. Hal-hal yang seharusnya bisa dirasa atau dideteksi dari awal jadi ga ketauan, akibatnya setelah masalahnya udah jadi gede, setelah efek buruknya udah menggunung atau menyebar ke mana-mana, baru berasa deh… And akibatnya usaha (kekuatan dan harga yang harus dibayar) yang harus dilakuin buat memperbaiki atau memulihkan keadaan yang udah parah itu jadi lebih berat dibanding kalo udah ketauan dari awal.
Kepekaan atau ke-sensitif-an itu juga bisa menguntungkan dan sekaligus merugikan. Sama kayak “daya tahan” yang terlalu kuat. Everything always have 2 sides… it’s just depend on us, how we can control them properly ;-p

Worry VS Concern

Dia bilang kita ga boleh worry...
“Karena itu Aku berkata kepadamu: Janganlah kuatir akan hidupmu, akan apa yang hendak kamu makan atau minum, dan janganlah kuatir pula akan tubuhmu, akan apa yang hendak kamu pakai. Bukankah hidup itu lebih penting daripada maanan dan tubuh itu lebih penting daripada pakaian?” (Mat 6:25-34)

Dan kalopun kita worry, Dia nyuruh kita menyerahkan kekuatiran kita kepadaNya…
“Janganlah hendaknya kamu kuatir tentang apapun juga, tetapi nyatakanlah dalam segala hal keinginanmu kepada Allah dalam doa dan permohonan dengan ucapan syukur.” (Filipi 4:6-7)

Itu bukan berarti kita ga boleh mikir tentang suatu masalah yang lagi terjadi. Itu juga bukan berarti kita bisa cuekin semuanya seolah-olah ga ada yang terjadi. Kalo ada suatu tantangan atau masalah yang butuh solusi atau ada impian yang pengen kita capai, pasti dunk kita mikirin gimana caranya bisa mengatasi tantangan atau masalah itu, ‘n pastinya kita juga mikirin gimana caranya supaya kita bisa mewujudkan keinginan kita. Tapi… mikirin (concern) itu beda ama kuatir (worry).

Gimana kita bisa tau, apakah kita lagi worry (kuatir) atau lagi concern (peduli, mikir secara wajar)?

Bedanya simple…
Kalo kita worry, kita terus-terusan mikirin tentang hal-hal yang di luar kendali kita. Hal-hal dimana kita ga bisa berbuat apa-apa.
Tapi kalo kita concern, kita mikir tentang bagian kita, tentang hal-hal yang bisa kita lakuin, hal-hal yang ada dalam kendali kita.

Misalnya kalo ada ortu punya anak remaja yang pertama kali pergi ke tempat yang jauh tanpa mereka. Ortu yang kuatir, mereka terus-menerus cemas, mungkin sampe ga bisa tidur, atau nelponin anaknya setiap menit karna mereka ga bisa ngawasin atau ngelindungin anaknya secara langsung. Tapi ortu yang concern, mereka memang mikirin anak mereka, tapi mereka ngelakuin yang bisa mereka lakuin (ngasih pesan-pesan sebelum anaknya berangkat, ngingetin anaknya buat kasih kabar kalo udah nyampe, dll) dan mereka menyerahkan hal-hal di luar kendali mereka (kondisi perjalanan, cuaca, acara, pengaruh orang-orang yang lain, dll) dengan doain anak mereka, minta Tuhan ngelindungin anak mereka. Concern itu mikir yang sehat ‘n ada hasilnya, tapi worry itu mikir yang berlebihan ‘n ga ada hasilnya coz emang yang dipikirin itu hal-hal yang di luar kendali kita.

Let’s keep our health by thinking things only with a proper way ;-)